System of psychological vectors
 

«Red children»

 

     Talking about Red people, it’s important to say one thing: I’m sorry and I want to congratulate at the same time a family who have a Red child. The life with so talented child is too specific. And no, rest vectors are not less talented, but the red vector one makes all things big and great.
     And if this parents manage to raise a Red child, not pressuring all of his psychological features, they certainly will witness his great success in many different areas of life. Unfortunately, the difficulties his mother and father face by, do not always allow them to stay in the accepting parent role.

 

The danger of freedom

     Sometimes you can recognize a Red child even before birth: he is very restless in the womb – he’s spinning around all the time! And that makes mom uncomfortable. It seems that he’s trying to tell something through his behavior: “Get ready, soon your quite life will end forever”. Indeed, he is right. These children also participate very actively in the process of birth, that’s why mothers of Red children often have a quite fast delivery.

     From the first days of life a Red baby shows his complicated character, forcing parents always to take into account his interests: if he wants something, he will do it by any means. Red child will live by his own rules and since early childhood he makes it clear to others.

     Orange children, on the contrary, easy get into daily sleep regime and nutrition: they sleep and wake up exactly by the clock, they eat according to generally accepted standards, and the rest they don’t put their parents in trouble too much.

     Love of freedom is the main Red children trait of character. They can't stand any restrictions and rules, they want to make decisions by their own – they always learn from their own mistakes. But the problem is that many parents take this behavior unacceptable. They try to put their Red children in any patterns of behavior all the possible ways. If parents are successful in this, it leads not to the great parenting but to the oppression of the “red” strengths and talents, and unwillingness to learn anything at all to do in life. If a child has enough strength to withstand such parents restrictive, he just runs away from home and embarks towards dangerous and exciting adventures

     I must say that the craving for dangerous situations is very characteristic for the Red vector. As soon as Red child learns to crawl, you can’t leave him alone: in the blink of an eye he turns out where even an adult gets with difficulties. And favorite fun of 1 years old Red babies is climbing up the tall couch and rolling down. What can we say about other unsafe ”interesting” subjects: adults designate it by intriguing word: “Danger”, but baby hears: “Interesting!”.

     Of course, Red teenagers prefer more dangerous “red” entertainments. The favorite game of Red children in Russia in 1980s was “Young Chemist”, and not because the game told about the great science - they could blow up and fire things.

     But it’s only the beginning… The most interesting for them is to climb on the roof, balancing with hands on the edge, and then drop down something heavy. Sometimes passion for height is too near by Red people during all the life: it’s not surprise that they choose risky professions connected with the flight or other dangers.

 

Fire and Water
     An interesting feature of many Red children is a body temperature. These children are constantly hot, they tend to take off all clothes as much as possible. And even in winter, they are ready to walk half-naked on the street.
     Of course, Red children have a little chance to get the desired coolness in early ages, especially when their moms used to swaddle them tightly. And such baby has the only one way to cool down – to piss in nappies. And if his mom swaddle him again, he will gladly piss the second time.

     Sometimes the way to get desired coolness and overcome discomfort from heat is fixed in the memory, and then it is implemented in the older age as enuresis (i.e. bedwetting). The fact that while we’re sleeping, our unconscious actively recycles past issues of the day, and sometimes such “red” mechanism of “solving the problem” triggers. That’s why children's enuresis – is almost always a sign of a flamboyant Red vector, which has serious psychological problems.

     Becoming older, such people can have high body temperature (somewhere around 37.5) for a long time, and doctors can’t find any symptoms of illness. It usually says only that the red man does not implement his potential in life. His energy is converted into heat according well-known physics law. But even harmonious Red man usually has a hot body - sometimes it seems that a real fire is burning inside his body. Fire often brings unusual joy and pleasure for Red people.

“Match is the best toy for bored children.

Dad’s tie and mom’s passport – you can make a fire”

(“Bad advice”, Grigory Oster)

     Absolutely right! Red children are the main firebugs. They are fascinated watching the flame of fire – they capable to find flammable objects in the most unexpected places. 

     It’s always scared to leave alone at home such children: as soon as the door is closed for the adults, Red children take match from the “secret” places and experiment with the fire. All bans of restless parents are usually lead to nothing, but every prohibition only increases their adrenaline.

     The only way to control these “fire games” is to play with children. If you regularly offer your Red kid to ignite another fire in the yard, you will satisfy his fiery passion on 99%. But remember: you should do it not just because “you must” – you do it with joy and be creative. If you don’t have enough time or energy for these games, you should hope that the next fire experiments will take place in the house of a neighbor, whose parents have insured the house.

     As a Red child gets older, he begins to make different explosive things and objects. You have no chance to exclude such entertainments from his life, so the better way here is to consult his and tell about safety.

     In the future, if the Red is not becoming a fireman, he will spend a lot of time next to the fire, watching this greatest mystery of the nature. He sees a lot of similarities to himself in this fascinating fire – he is like this fire – he’s illuminating all around and he quickly burns out, leaving only mysterious embers. But if you blow on the embers “right way”, the flame will flare up again, bringing light and warm to people.

     This peculiar rhythm of the life is characteristic of the representatives of the Red vector at any age. Periods of activity change with periods of “laziness”. This dynamics can be represented as a graph: 1) a great climb, 2) unexpected decline, 3) long plateau. But only the Red will create and make “on the climb” as much as others are unable to do.

     Our baby has played in astronauts right now, he has built tall towers and suddenly he lays on the floor completely exhausted. And here comes his brown mom and says like downer: “Sonny, firstly you should put all the toys in the boxes, otherwise you won’t get anything. But the little boy does not even have strength to explain that he doesn’t want to do it and he won’t. In fact, he doesn’t lie at this moment. Red people do have a such feature: they spend all strength to end without noticing tiredness, and then they fall completely exhausted – they could not even move. Their energy is burned out on this “great climb”, and it takes considerable time to save up it again.

     Do you need to torture him at the moment? Decide for yourself. Teenagers are usually well aware that if the batteries in their gameboys are drained, they should pull it out, knock against each other, and gameboys will work 3-5 minutes more. The similar “way” works with Red babies – of course you can “shake” him to enforce any obligations. But then he will spend much more time to “recharge”.

     But not only the fire becomes a “symbol of life” for Red people. Another passion of Red children is… Water. Unusual excitement while bathing in the bath causes a desire to expand the boundaries of the home pond. The neighbors from the downstairs will become your frequent “guests”, if you leave your child alone in the bathroom. Moreover, such baby will looking for water everywhere: he will touch it and dive into it.

 

Is it bad to think fast?
     High speed of thinking process is also “red” feature which is can be seen since childhood. But very often it leads to big problems at school. Indeed, the Red child understands much more quickly than other children: the question yet is not fully asked, but the answer is ready. While a teacher is reading slowly: “20 swans flew, but only 12 fell ...”. “Eight!” – The Red student is shouting. “Shut up! Wait until I finish reading the task!” – the answer is heard, but he doesn’t to wait. That’s why he takes a toy and plays, causing a corresponding attitude from the teacher.

     He wants to be the first! He is even ready to exert all his strength. But the lack of chance to be the first makes Red child sad. So why does he need such study?
That’s why the most talented students at the school are doomed to boredom, and later they’re going to have bad marks. But Red child is a sensitive soul – he will not prove anything: “Why should I go to school if the school doesn’t understand me?”

     And he will choose the place where he can be the first. It can be a schoolyard, for example – he is able to show what he can. Unfortunately, many talented Red children find their admirers in the most unpleasant places, if adults at home and school don’t understand their “red” nature. We know that no matter where the Red children is the first whether in school or at schoolyard (he is the first hooligan in that case).

     Nevertheless, school problems are not the only problems. The most “horrible time” begins when Mom and Dad notice that their child is far ahead of their peers in sexual development. It looks like a disaster for many adults when their three-year kid masturbates, getting pleasure like an adult. It is not the early childish masturbation as psychologists say. Everything happens differently with the Red children: they have early puberty, early interest in all the intimate questions that often cause a state of shock from the surrounding adults. And what can we say about the sexual games in the preschool and early school age...
     And, of course, the most common reaction of parents and teachers (sometimes strongly Orange grandmothers “help” them) is to BAN! They’re going to deny all: “Do not keep your hands in the pants even at night; do not play with friends without adult supervision; do not read the “adult” books; do not ask “stupid” questions, etc...

     If you only knew how many broken "red" life begins precisely with these restrictions, how many patients of sexologist (men and women) have experienced similar restrictions in childhood. 

     Maybe you have already begun to understand that any man’s need, especially a child’s need should be satisfied by appropriate manner. But it’s not easy to find right means. I find it is meaningless to give general advice – we all have different situations.

     One thing is clear: any prohibition for Red child is kind of challenge to violate it. Moreover, these children sometimes are need to be raised through the “No”, because they have unusually strong spirit of contradiction from the small ages. “ I’m not going to school tomorrow!” – says you Red baby, expecting the usual notations. But suddenly you tell him: ‘You’re not going to school tomorrow!” – his reaction is just the opposite: “But why? How???”
     The desire to do everything in life for his own leads to the original style of behavior: even if you offer him what he really wants, Red child can answer, “I will not”. After all, Red child is sure that it is much more important to show that he makes decisions in his life – not others.

     This power struggle begins with infant age. Often a Red baby aggressively wants something from his parents – he cries convinced that sooner or later they will have to surrender. But getting the desired object, he quickly loses interest in it, because actually, he needed to show who in this life is the real owner.
     If parents don’t have any problems with self-esteem, then they might as well play along with Red child, giving him the opportunity to choose from several options. Doing this process creatively, you will not only satisfy the “red” need to decide and command, you also “get” the house obligations.
     The main thing is to show how important for you your Red child. Red child needs recognition and praise more than others: he will grow into a great man through your commended. If we don’t praise Red child, he begins to boast, praising himself. It’s pointless to scold him for this – he just compensates for what he do not receive from others.