How it all began
The Psychological Vector System traces its roots back to a small article written by Sigmund Freud in 1908. Freud used the piece, entitled “Character and Anal Erotism”, to describe a type of person who demonstrates a set combination of three character traits (we will get to them shortly).
As children, those people experience problems that in one way or another relate back to a physiological function as well as the organ in charge of it.
Freud makes the claim that this particular character type is organically connected to a concrete organ in our body.
What can we make of that?
When it comes down to it, Freud is claiming that a person's character is built not on their upbringing, the world around them, or any other factor, but on the functions of particular organs. Back at the beginning of the 20th century, that was quite the leap.
It is very well known that many scientists (Hippocrates, for instance) from long ago linked character to the workings of the heart, liver, and other internal organs. Freud, however, took his studies in a completely different direction, driving from the fact that our bodies are closed systems interacting (communicating) with the environment around us via multiple orifices. Those orifices are quite easy to count by looking at where our practically complete skin covering is interrupted:
7. Skin (to be more precise, the skin’s natural orifices: pores as well as oil and sweat glands)
8. Navel* (we can leave an asterisk here, as this orifice closes after birth; regardless, our character is already in place for the most part at that point)
So Freud’s main idea was that these orifices, or rather the sensitivity of these zones, profoundly impacts our character. With that said, a century ago he did not yet know (or was not ready to openly declare) that the sensitivity of our orifices governs every area of our lives: from our health to our sexual preferences to the profession we choose to how we conduct business.
Freud goes on to write:
“The people I am about to describe are noteworthy for a regular combination of the following three characteristics. They are especially orderly, parsimonious, and obstinate.
“'Orderly’ covers the notion of bodily cleanliness, as well as of conscientiousness in carrying out small duties and trustworthiness.”
Do you know anyone like that? If you can think of a relative or friend who is orderly, frugal, or obstinate, you already have a good picture of what this chapter will be about. You may even know entire nationalities that are legendary for their orderliness and frugality.
“As infants, they seem to have belonged to the class who refuse to empty their bowels when they are put on the pot because they derive a subsidiary pleasure from defaecating…”
Many might pause here, wondering what nonsense Freud could have been cooking up—after all, what do defecation and pleasure have to do with each other? And how could that possibly relate to how people act, especially in business? Well, let us take a look.
Certainly, people are born with genetically defined physical characteristics and builds, particular health concerns, and much more. Our genetics also give each of our “erogenous zones”—those eight orifices in our skin—varying levels of sensitivity. Some of us are born with especially sensitive ears and a sharp sense of hearing, others with especially sensitive eyes and great vision, and so on. With that said, “sensitivity” is much more than simply the ability to take in the world around us; it is a special tenderness or vulnerability exhibited by those particular sensory organs or in a certain bodily zone. In other words, it is a sensitivity to damage, bacteria, and other external influences, meaning that a sensitive eye is both particularly sharp-sighted and delicate in a way that makes even a little speck of dust a major inconvenience. One more characteristic of “sensitive” organs or zones is that they demand their own kind of pleasure: to put it very simply, sensitive eyes love looking at beautiful things, sensitive ears hearing beautiful sounds, and sensitive noses smelling pleasant aromas (of course, preferences vary widely). Sensitive organs maintain harmony and balance (health, in other words) by experiencing an abundance of their particular pleasures. On the other hand, a lack of those pleasures leads to health problems that can be both physical and psychological.
Let’s wrap up.
— …are areas on our bodies linked to one of our eight orifices (orifice types)
— …enjoy a heightened sensitivity to their surrounding environment
— …are sensitive to a degree determined genetically
— …are also sensitive to damage (they are more delicate and vulnerable)
— …need their particular kind of pleasure (stimulation) and suffer without it
Given that the anal orifice is one of the eight on our bodies, some of us (quite a few of us, in fact) are genetically—from the moment of conception—predisposed to heightened sensitivity in that area. These are the people who enjoy taking their time sitting in the bathroom and other ways of stimulating their buttocks.
Freud grouped people who share that proclivity into the anal character type. Notwithstanding that precedent, the phrase “character type” is limiting, and so we use the word “vector” for our system instead. That is because, first, a single person can have multiple vectors, while a type is just that (there can only be one per person). Second, each vector has a magnitude from 0% to 100%. Our character is therefore a combination of eight vectors (corresponding to the number of our orifices).
People with highly sensitive anal zones in this book are referred to as exhibiting the brown vector, or, for short, brown-vectored people. Viktor Tolkachev, on the other hand, called this the “anal vector.”
So where does what we associate with the brown vector come from?
Let’s look at a short story by way of illustration. Imagine a little boy whose mother sits him down on his potty. His anal zone is especially sensitive and has been since birth, and so he particularly enjoys anything that stimulates it. Instead of getting right down to business like his mom wants, he just sits there having a great time. After all, he would happily while away an hour or two if he were allowed—now is just not that time. His mom is in a hurry to get to work, and so she tries to rush her stubborn son along: “Are you almost done? Come on, let’s go!”
In one of those fleeting moments where life is at its best, the little boy is robbed of his enjoyment and pushed to finish the job: “Let’s go!” What does that do to him? He will spend his childhood and adult life avoiding everyone who is in a hurry or trying to rush him. After all, the longer and more peacefully he is allowed to do what he enjoys, the better he feels. Notice that tranquility and a slow tempo are crucial qualities for the brown vector at any age. With that in mind, stay away from pushing brown-vectored people if you do not want to hurt them (chapter two will cover how best to get people like this moving a bit faster). Continually poking and prodding brown-vectored children sometimes leads to the development of a stutter, neurotic behavior, or even serious bowel disorders. The same applies to adults.
But that is not the end of the story: the mom (the same one who was late for work) decides not to wait any longer, grabs her son from off the potty, quickly dresses him, and rushes out of the house. The boy, robbed of the enjoyment he could have received in the bathroom, at that moment finally does what his mother waiting so long for… And what happens next? His mom most likely takes him back home, changes his clothes, and lightly smacks him on the rear end so he does not do the same thing the next day. However, the loving mother’s punishment happens to stimulate the exact area where her son is especially sensitive. Do you think the boy will do anything different the next day? Of course not! He just enjoyed a two-for-one special, which is where brown-vectored children can sometimes learn their stubbornness: they subconsciously instigate situations in which their significant zone is stimulated.
Certainly, there are brown-vectored people who have never once had anything like that happen to them. One way or another, however, brown-vectored children finagle these types of situations such that stubbornness plays right into their hands.
We could wrap up our story with the little boy by letting events play out somewhat differently. One weekend the mom is not in a hurry to go anywhere: “Go ahead, sit there as long as you want!” Finally, an hour or two later the boy happily and finally finishes the job. Children always want to share their happiness with someone, and usually that someone is their mom, so our little boy takes his “happiness” to his mom and delightedly shrieks, “Mom, look what I brought you!” And what does he hear in response? The best case scenario would be something like, “Ew, throw it away!!!”
The little boy cannot understand how something that made him so happy could be gross to his mother, the person nearest and dearest to him. He is so confused that he might even start to develop a deep-seated fear: “There’s something wrong with me. If my mom can’t even understand me, I’d better keep my mouth shut about what makes me happy. I should probably just be quiet altogether so I never look stupid.” As a result, the boy could potentially turn inward, becoming quiet and shut off from the world around him. The brown vector is naturally introverted and phlegmatic, but the degree to which that occurs depends in large measure on childhood experiences.
As you can see, genetic predispositions are not the absolute end of the story. They simply represent a potential that looks different for different people. The other side of the coin, however, is that if a certain potential is absent at birth, there is no way it can be developed later.
Some brown-vectored people love spending a lot of time sitting on the toilet even into their adult years, which is why they try to make that area as cozy and comfortable as possible. They install book shelves, hang paintings, and sometimes even set up a TV or phone, to say nothing of all the different lighting and sound options there are to choose from. A quick glance at a bathroom that obviously enjoys particular attention is enough to tell which vector is predominant in its owner. If your friend starts building his home by focusing on the bathroom, you can surmise that the entire building will be clean, orderly, and everything else that comes with the brown vector.
Needless to say, such people pay an inordinate amount of attention to the quality of their toilet paper: it has to be multi-ply and very soft. A brown-vectored person would never dream of using newspaper, as they care too much about their sensitive zone for that.
This kind of soft spot for the bathroom is generally criticized in our society (especially in childhood by parents, teachers, and others), which is why with time such feelings are relegated to the subconscious and the same level of attention is no longer given to the sensitive zone. However, genetically high sensitivity cannot simply disappear, even when we are no longer aware of it. Our Organism still experiences a deep longing for the enjoyment it no longer receives: for the brown vector, stimulation of or pressure on the anal zone.
So what can an Organism like that “dream up” so its significant zone is stimulated? Quite a bit, in fact: take constipation, which includes strong pressure on sensitive receptors. Waiting a few days for the stimulation the end result brings with it is not even a problem, given that brown-vectored people enjoy the anticipation. And how does an Organism make that happen? Simple: digestion is managed subconsciously by our brains, making it understandable why most diseases involving the digestive tract are psychosomatic. For our subconscious, brewing up a little constipation—even lasting a few years—is a walk in the park. Unsurprisingly, many people suffering from chronic constipation are shining examples of the brown vector.
The subconscious is no less creative when it comes to selecting how it will recover: getting an enema not only takes care of the brown-vectored person’s problem, it provides even more stimulation for their sensitive zone. You may be aware of some people who regularly have multiple enemas done for “deeper cleansing” and even write books on the subject. Without casting aspersions on such treatments, I would like to emphasize that only those with a pronounced brown vector employ them. Not coincidentally, they are also the ones those treatments help the most.
People without this vector would never try having an enema, and many non-brown-vectored authors put together recovery plans (including for constipation) that include running, fasting, dieting, and much more without ever discussing enemas. They just represent other vectors.
Of course, there are many ways besides direct stimulation of the sensitive zone (using enemas and more) to experience pleasure. For example, anything that involves sitting in one place would be enjoyable for brown-vectored people.
A brown-vectored man might tell a friend, “I’m going to retire, buy myself a rocking chair, and just sit there for a week.” His friend asks, “But what then?” “Then,” the brown-vectored man happily sighs, “I'll start rocking!”
Rocking in a chair or lilting back and forth in a rocking chair is a frequent giveaway for people like this, while they also love sitting on their hands or with their legs curled under them. If you see a person sitting on their own hand, you can be pretty sure they are brown-vectored.
This kind of person is particularly drawn to quiet, assiduous professions that require long periods of sitting, including writing, accounting, archiving, museum curating, trucking, programming, and law.
Besides quietly sitting in one spot, brown-vectored people enjoy everything that actively exercises their buttocks: biking, crew, and of course horseback riding are some particular favorites. With that said, do not confuse a love of horseback riding with a love of horses. While brown-vectored people have no problem dropping the horse off after a nice ride and heading right home, there are other people (black-vectored ones, to be precise) who spend an enormous amount of time with the animals, taking care of them and enjoying the experience of communicating with them.
Crossing the finish line
The most important quality common to all brown-vectored people is their drive to complete everything they do. No matter what they start, they are never happy until they finish it; getting any satisfaction out of their work requires meeting this deep-seated need.
At first glance, this is a positive character trait that makes brown-vectored people reliable and the best option for important, painstaking work. The downside of that, however, is that they will think up any excuse to stick with the original plan even if a changing situation necessitates a new direction.
Just imagine a factory director responsible for a large team of employees. Market factors change sharply after beginning a new project, meaning that it is time to try something different. While everyone else working at the factory understands that, the director stands his ground: the project will be continued through to its conclusion. There is nothing wrong with his brown-vector intellect; the problem lies with how difficult it is for him to overcome his internal need to finish what he started. That subconscious craving is so strong that stepping away from something that no longer enjoys the bright future it once promised takes a deep understanding of one’s self and incredible willpower.
That same tendency holds true in personal life: even a brown-vectored person who understands the fact that they have spent many years in an unfulfilling relationship will still not decide to cut ties. Their partners often successfully exploit that peculiarity for their own purposes.
This character trait can have tragic consequences for the sexual lives of brown-vectored people: something called a “sweet French death.” An older man is doing his best to satisfy an insatiable partner, but, understanding that what he can do on his own is not enough, falls back on his habit of finishing everything he starts, draws on some kind of external energy (from the cosmos, perhaps), satisfies the woman, and dies…
Sometimes unscrupulous managers also exploit this quality, assigning one task and coming back with another just an hour later. While they may say the first can be put off in favor of the second, they are well aware that their brown-vectored employees will stay at work all night if they have to in order to satisfy their internal urge to finish both tasks.
Perfectionism and pedantry
Another crucial quality for the brown vector is perfectionism. Perfectionists never see any detail as unimportant, always being prepared to devote a significant amount of time and energy to every last one of them. To be perfectly honest, our daily life would benefit from having more of the people around us take this approach to their work, especially in the service industry. If a mechanic has ever brushed aside a concern by telling you that the car will still drive just as fast as ever, you can be pretty sure they have an under-developed brown vector.
So is perfectionism a positive quality? Sure, though not always. Of course, working with someone who pays close attention to detail is great, though that same attitude finds a dark side when time and energy start running short. For example, a factory director could spend all his time harping on the insignificant defects that are unavoidable whatever the product or service may be, falling behind competitors who release their version—today, if imperfectly—to the market.
Brown-vectored perfectionism is already apparently even in children. Such a child may sit down to write a poem, doing their best to make it absolutely perfect. However, the stress builds until they make a mistake right at the very end. What happens next? You can probably guess: the child grabs a clean piece of paper and starts all over again. The problem now, though, is that they are already tired and this time only make it to somewhere in the middle before another mistake crops up. The parents, running out of patience, urge the child on: “Okay, why don’t we white it out? You don’t have to write it again!” Not surprisingly, the child ignores their entreaties, pulls out one more clean sheet of paper, and starts over. From a distance it might look like the parents are being overly harsh to their child, but the root of the problem is that brown-vectored children can have parents who are not brown-vectored by any stretch of the imagination (it is true: regardless of genetic predispositions, we do not always carry on our parents’ vectors—look for more on that in the next chapter). It is important to remember that a child like that is not necessarily putting in the work to earn a good grade at school; the internal satisfaction of knowing they did the best they could is better than any A+.
Pedantry, a similar quality, is also typical of the brown vector.
Problems getting started
There is probably a point of equilibrium for everything in the world: brown-vectored people who are virtuosos in getting the job done (at the finish, in other words), often have issues getting over the threshold of starting. For them, beginning anything presents a difficulty that affects both everyday activities and larger-scale projects like opening a new business or getting married. The decision-making process itself is unbelievably difficult: weighing every option over and over, they consult their closest friends, read up on the subject, and constantly go back to think it all through from the beginning one more time.
Sales clerks are certainly familiar with the kind of customer who takes a long time to look over a product, reads the instructions in detail, and asks about all its finer points. Having done so, they quietly leave, only to return a couple days later and ask a few more important questions. Not all salesmen know that those—brown-vectored—people will eventually make their decision and finish what they started, finally purchasing the product that won out.
In situations like these it is almost as if brown-vectored people are waiting for some kind of shove to help them out break out of their deliberations and finally make a decision, something that explains why they so enjoy hearing advice and instructions. While they may not follow the advice, it gives them the strength they need to come to a conclusion. Try gently nudging your brown-vectored friend in one direction or another when you see him behaving like this—he will probably thank you for it later.
Brown-vectored people often drive the people around them crazy; seeing how slow they are off the blocks, many write them off as unproductive altogether. That is not the case, however: once a decision is made, brown-vectored people are more than ready to work as hard as anyone else with no further help required.
Neat and tidy
Brown-vectored people are born with a powerful bent toward orderliness and cleanliness. Just like for the vector’s other peculiarities, the culprit here is genetics, supplemented only to a limited degree by upbringing or lifestyle. While it may be hard to believe, there are children who shock their parents by spontaneously developing the habit of washing their hands and cleaning up after themselves. Once they hit two or three, they even start pushing the people around them to be cleaner.
A brown-vectored child might enter someone’s house and immediately ask, “Where can I wash my hands?” If you were to ask their parents if they raised their child that way, they would happily tell you how tidy their home has been ever since their brown-vectored child was born.
As adults the pull toward cleanliness only grows and tightens its grip. People like this are constantly bringing up the fact that “scary” bacteria live on dirty hands and produce, causing…diarrhea! Brown-vectored people live in constant dread of diarrhea. If you are strolling around the city on a hot summer day with a friend and suggest picking up a snack from a dirty-looking street stand, you will most likely find yourself with one less friend. People with this nature tend to be very fastidious about the places they eat, though their pickiness has less to do with a refined palate: they focus more on finding tidy, hygienic restaurants staffed by immaculately dressed waiters and waitresses serving clean food. When they eat at a friend’s house they often surprise their hosts with their meticulous approach to cleanliness by, for example, checking deep into the core of green onions to see if there is any dirt. The other side of that coin is that brown-vectored people do not trust anyone else to wash produce at their own houses.
Just like any other manifestation of this particular vector, the urge to be clean can become a pathology: mysophobia, or the fear of bacteria. For a reminder of how many well-known people have suffered from this disease, simply recall Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in The Aviator.
I once knew someone who washed his hands four times before leaving home: first before putting on his underwear (which was perfectly clean, of course), second before putting on his shoes (to avoid staining the beautifully polished leather), third after putting on his shoes (notwithstanding, they are still worn outside), and fourth right before putting on his coat. Then he would leave his apartment, shut the door, head over to the elevator, and pull his key out of his pocket to press the button. Incidentally, in all the other areas of his life he was fairly well-adjusted and, regardless of his peculiar habits, lived a balanced life.
No less important than cleanliness is the brown-vector need for orderliness and everything that goes with it (decency, regularity, and much more). All their magazines are stacked in even rows with the face side up, and all their papers are filed in separate folders that are themselves in larger folders. The variety and functionality of the office supplies they use (different-colored pens and sharpened pencils, paper clips, staplers, daily planners, and the like) would shock you, though there is nothing superfluous in their collection of absolutely necessary tools. They love walking around office supply stores, and new supplies make great gifts for many of them.
Brown-vectored people take the same approach to outfitting their homes and setting up their daily lives: brown-vectored homemakers work in pristine kitchens with groceries organized in labeled boxes. The cleaning supplies they use are only the latest and most ecologically efficient, while produce is cleaned, vegetables are peeled, and grains are sorted with the utmost attention to detail. Women like this love getting Tupperware and other containers as gifts, along with kitchen utensils and, most importantly, anything they can use to make their houses just a bit cleaner. Deep cleaning is not a drudgery for them; instead, it is a celebration or even something therapeutic that gets them feeling balanced and energized for quite a while. Their days begin with dusting and end with the same ritual, while the love they have for their homes as the place they can make the coziest and most comfortable has given them a reputation as ideal housewives.
Brown-vectored women do not usually get along well with housekeepers thanks to their over-anxious need for cleanliness: “How could someone else possibly have my house looking its best?!” In fact, they usually take the time to get everything spick and span themselves even after the best housekeeper they can find goes home for the day.
Brown-vectored men are known for their handiwork and thriftiness. All their tools, screws, and bolts are sorted into little boxes they label and without fail organize into larger boxes. The larger boxes are carefully set on shelves, while a detailed filing system keeps everything exactly in its place. Notice that here too there is nothing superfluous or unneeded.
Books in brown-vectored homes are evenly lined on shelves with the titles all facing a single direction, and multivolume collections are always in alphabetical or numerical order. Sometimes everything is grouped by size, color, or some other criterion, seeing as how brown-vectored people absolutely love books: not only do they enjoy reading them, they also love buying, storing, and systematizing them.
I remember visiting a girl’s house once when I was younger. She had me sit down on a couch in one room while she headed over to the kitchen to make dinner. As I sat there, I felt uncomfortable, almost as if there was something bothering my eyes. Suddenly I noticed a complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica sitting on a bookshelf across from me. How do you think it was organized? The fifth volume was right after the first and followed by the twenty-fifth, after which were the fourth, thirteenth, and so on. How could anyone live like that?! I jumped up and sorted them numerically, somehow brightening the room in the process. When the girl return and saw my happy face, she asked, “What happened?” I proudly gestured toward the bookshelf, though she was unable to see anything different. There was no sense explaining what was going on since it would have taken a brown-vectored person to really get it.
The pursuit of tidiness leads to outstanding packing skills, making brown-vectored people the best packers on the planet. They are so good at neatly and compactly fitting things into boxes, purses, and suitcases, in fact, that they shock the people around them by how much they can actually get inside. Needless to say, while the process takes a good while, the end result exceeds all expectations.
Many years ago I witnessed an interesting scene at an international airport. A man ran up to security out of breath, obviously late for his plane. His suitcase was stuffed to the extent that there were things sticking out of it in a few places (we will talk about that packing style in the chapter dealing with the red vector), and just then an agent asked him to open it up. After taking his time looking through it, the inspector told the poor man, who was almost in tears, to repack the suitcase—although everything it had disgorged looked like it would fit in two suitcases. Suddenly a young man who apparently worked at the airport materialized from out of the corner and asked, “Do you need help?” “Twenty dollars,” he quietly added. “Twenty dollars??!!” the man repeated, stunned. But what else could he do? The young man quietly and methodically took five minutes to pack everything into the suitcase (there was even room left over), after which the passenger handed over the money and ran off toward his plane knowing there are some things in life he will simply never be much good at.
A talent for packing is perfect for making a hobby out of collecting things. Who besides brown-vectored people could so carefully collect, describe, and systematize a wide range of items (from stamps and bottle caps to antiques and old cars)? It is true: all honest-to-goodness collectors are brown-vectored. Dmitri Mendeleev, the great “collector” and systematizer of chemical elements, serves as a great example with his side hobby of fashioning quality suitcases. Obviously, he had what it took to organize a wide range of things.
Any discussion of the meticulousness inherent to this vector would be incomplete without a mention of one more application for that quality: finances. While thriftiness is a key characteristic of brown-vectored people, it should not be confused with stinginess: brown-vectored people are simply capable of coolly and prudently calculating how they spend every dollar. They are well aware of how much money they have in their account or wallet (not to the last penny, of course, but they have a good idea) and need a good reason to spend it—it takes a good, hard-working salesmen to convince them to make a purchase.
Brown-vectored people are especially careful about their food supplies. In the summer they happily stock up, rationing what they have so as to empty their shelves just in time for the following summer to roll around. Brown-vectored people also throw out food once it passes its expiration date: if you are offered jelly that expired in 1997, you can be sure your host is not brown-vectored (people who tend to have shelves loaded with expired food are orange-vectored and will be discussed in that chapter). If a chocolate bar expired yesterday, brown-vectored people are too concerned with their digestive system and overall health to eat it.
Even despite their thriftiness, brown-vectored people love entertaining guests, and for their closest friends they will spare no expense.
A man of the past
Brown-vectored people prefer dealing with spent goods in widely varying areas of their lives (Freud thought this tendency came from the brown vector’s childhood love of all things bathroom-related, as bodily waste can also be considered “spent goods”). Applying that idea to time points the preference to the past and everything related to it. For the brown vector, the past is a brighter, happier place than the present and especially the future, which is why you may occasionally find yourself regaled by brown-vector stories of when the world was a better place. Regardless of the actual success or benefits today brings, brown-vectored people still remember yesterday (last month, last year) as being happier and better. They prize their past and everything that reminds them of it (old keepsakes or worn pictures), which is why they tend to spend a good deal of time looking back on their younger years, past loves, old jobs, and former friends. Were they to somehow gain access to a time machine, they would continually be turning the wheel backward. There is so much in life today that frustrates brown-vectored people, while the past… When tomorrow comes, however, today will take its place among the “good ol’ days.”
There is even a special form of psychotherapy that has proven to work well for brown-vectored people: looking over past pictures in chronological order (from birth to the present) or, even better, showing them to someone else and talking about them helps build a stable psychological foundation from which to forge a path forward into the future.
Keeping a diary makes it easy to take quick jaunts back into the past, remembering and reliving cherished memories. Brown-vectored diaries take that one step further, featuring exceptional detail that helps lock chains of events into place. Incidentally, Sigmund Freud, the originator of the vector system, kept an incredibly detailed lifelong diary—it is no coincidence that he began his description of the different character types with the brown vector. Many people, of course, try to keep diaries (some for a week, others for a month), though only the brown-vectored ones are capable of keeping up the practice regularly and over a long period of time.
This pull toward the past can also exhibit itself in a passion for history or archeology, either professionally or as a hobby (reading books or watching TV shows). Some archaeologists even call their digs “evolution’s toilet.”
There is no better person for anything having to do with archiving, collecting old documents, or analyzing them than a representative of the brown vector.
It is important to remember that for brown-vectored people, enamored as they are with the past, the future holds no particular interest. To take that a step further, the future for them can often be somewhat frightening: while past facts can be carefully studied, systematized, and pigeonholed, the future is a black hole of unknowns that robs brown-vectored people of their trusty psychological tools. That fact is where the characteristic brown-vector fear of everything new comes from, leaving them only accepting of new things that are really repackaged ideas from the “good old days” (a very brown-vectored phrase, by the way). If you would like to get through to someone like this with a completely new idea or sell them a new product, you will have to somehow relate it back to the past.
Brown-vectored people begin new things by doing their best to lace them with the accustomed, familiar, and proven (it is no accident that the word “recommended” is key for this vector). Often there are so many of these additives from the past that they dwarf what is actually new.
A picture of the future for brown-vectored people is made of up snapshots from experience: “Where will we go on vacation this summer? Probably where my parents used to take me…”
Brown-vectored people interested in beginning a professional relationship with a new company will be sure to look up that company’s history and past experience, while new and even highly promising enterprises will be looked at askance.
Try talking with brown-vectored people about the future by making it less intimidating. Finding a reference to or analogy in the past will dramatically improve the odds of getting through to them.
Even brown-vectored children distrust everything new in their lives: it may be hard to believe, but the words “New Topic” written by a teacher on a blackboard cut brown-vector intellectual productivity by 25%. And when you really think about it, are there ever actually new topics at school? Generally everything builds on something that has come previously, and so perhaps it would be wise to stop scaring brown-vectored children with phrases like that one.
Cruelty and regret
This next tendency was withheld by Freud for good reason, as the unenlightened reader may find it to be too unattractive. Some brown-vectored people make a habit of something that can be seen as cruel: psychological sadism.
A brown-vectored person who thinks you are at fault about something will start pestering you with a multitude of accusations that can go on for quite a while, a period during which there is nothing you can say or do to change their mind. Even if you are already willing to admit your wrongdoing and ask how you can make up for it, the answer you receive is unequivocal: “You’ve done enough already.” The conversation could last hours or even weeks (significantly longer for domestic relationships) without the slightest sign of progress, spoiling any kind of relationship—husband and wife, parent and child, or employer and employee. The reaction most commonly displayed by women (and children) in these situations is to simply break down and cry, which, surprising as it may seem, is actually the key to instantaneously fixing the problem. As soon as brown-vectored people see tears start to form, they instantly forget their cruelty in favor of compassion and care for their erstwhile victim. The degree to which they feel that compassion, in fact, is in direct proportion to the cruelty they previously displayed: the longer they were harsh, the longer they will regret it. Ultimately, brown-vectored sadism begins with cruelty that resolves into regret. Situations like these are much more difficult for men, for whom tears are not generally how they resolve conflicts.
Incidentally, normal sadism (the desire to inflict physical pain on another person or an animal) also originates in deep-seated and unacknowledged brown-vector needs. The pathology of this feature is excellently exhibited in the novels written by the Marquis de Sade, from whose name we get the term itself. His shocking work entitled The 100 Days of Sodom and the film adaptation by well-known Italian director Pier Paulo Pasolini depict the pathology of the brown vector.
It is interesting that many dentists (top-notch professionals, even) are brown-vectored with a subconscious need for their patients to feel pain. Many years ago, when anesthetics were used with much less frequency, there was a professional proverb to the effect that dentists could only do quality work if they “felt their patients’ real pain.” Our suffering in the chair may be nothing more than the price we pay for having a brown-vectored, and therefore highly methodical and results-oriented dentist.
The same is true for some surgeons who are unaffected by their patients’ screams when being bandaged: few would want to be operated on by a surgeon who didn’t have the brown-vectored habit of finishing everything they start.
Brown-vectored rapists do not kill their victims; rather than a corpse, a desire we will talk about with regards to a different vector, they need to feel their victims' pain. It so happens that brown-vectored people are generally in favor of rescinding the death penalty and replacing it with life in prison, during which criminals “pray that god would end their lives.”
The link between initial pain and subsequent gain is so deeply ingrained in the brown vector that brown-vectored people often subconsciously inflict pain even on the people they love, only to later unfurl their full potential for love and tenderness.
Other psychological qualities
None of the other vectors are as responsible as the brown one. Brown-vectored people keep their word and are responsible to the point of sacrificing their own personal time in order to do what they say they will do. You can rely on them when push comes to shove, as they are incredibly dependable friends.
Brown-vectored employees never lie in the interests of their company, though they could never be accused of disloyalty (a brown-vectored child might answer the phone by saying, “Mommy asked me to tell you she isn’t at home”). They do not take bribes and would never filch even their favorite pens or paper clips.
The same tendency can be seen behind the wheel: brown-vectored people do their best to follow all the rules, especially when it comes to speed, passing, and parking. A double line might as well be a concrete wall it would be better to not even approach—not to mention crossing! Meanwhile, 40 mph speed limits will hold them to exactly 40 mph, no matter how angry and noisy the people behind them may be. Most difficult for brown-vectored people, however, is intersections: how does the first driver in line at a red light know when to go? Getting a rolling start before the light turns green is against the law and dangerous, while waiting for green (to satisfy their conscience) means getting rear-ended… Better to not be first to begin with, so brown-vectored people let someone pass them and roll to a stop quietly and with their nerves intact.
Bringing up the rear, by the way, is a symbol of completion that characterizes the brown vector in a variety of situations in life. Tour groups will see brown-vectored people at the back picking up what others drop and doing the right thing by handing it back to its rightful owner.
Their natural honesty pushes them to fight for fairness. Even champagne is carefully and evenly poured into glasses at the first go, while no one has any reason to complain when it comes time to distribute the company’s earnings.
Brown-vectored people are intelligent and capable of deep analysis as well as systematic thought. Their thought process, however, does not happen quickly, and so their sense of humor, which is directly proportional to speed of thought, is not well-developed. While brown-vectored people appreciate toilet humor as something they can relate to, they are generally uncomfortable in other situations where they only get the joke a couple minutes after everyone else has already stopped laughing. That is why they prefer to avoid groups of witty people who continually make fun of each other. Crack jokes with brown-vectored people around at your own risk.
A few years back I was teaching a course on vectors for a newspaper’s editing staff (editors have to be strongly brown-vectored given the nature of their work). They all died laughing at an old and, in my opinion, not very funny joke: “For the convenience of our readers we will begin printing our newspaper without text and on toilet paper beginning next year.”
Certainly, many brown-vectored propensities are looked down on in our society. A heightened interest in all things anal is clear even at an early age, while many brown-vectored needs tend to be suppressed and driven deep into the subconscious. One way or another, however, the topic surfaces in the art produced by many well-known people: take Salvador Dali, for example, and the poem in The Art of the Fart (part of Diary of a Genius, Dali’s well-known book).
We now know two things to be true for people with a particularly sensitive zone: first, their predisposition is both genetic and permanent. Second, caring for a healthy organism means devoting attention to its significant zones by stimulating them to provide pleasure. Conversely, health issues can crop up when that pleasure is missing, a principle that holds true for all eight vectors. Neurosis, during which unproductive qualities replace productive ones, can also set in without enough stimulation.
For example, brown-vectored people, who generally take their time in life, in neurosis become hurried and fidgety rather than deft or efficient (in other words, qualities that are both the opposite of their norm and unproductive). Alternatively, add neurosis to brown-vectored people who are honest when in equilibrium and they will become easily discovered white liars rather than elite spies (again, opposite and unproductive qualities). Constipation turns to diarrhea, and so on.
The same occurs in stressful situations, which drive a brown-vector neurosis that is only temporary or situational. Where there is a wide range of choices (at a large store, for example), brown-vectored people sometimes feel a sudden urge to run to the bathroom that is not sickness-related at all. A similar reaction can be observed during life’s other big moments, and especially during those having to do with personal relationships.
Appearance and habits
Brown-vectored people generally have a thick build that often features wide hips, exuding an overall sense of deep peace and firmness. While the clothes they wear may not always match, there is a certain neatness to every bit of their appearance, and the shoes they polish to a shine, their immaculately ironed shirts, and a lack of accessories all make it easy to spot them. Seeing someone carrying around two shoe brushes (one for dirt and the other for polish) is also more than enough to convince you of their strong brown vector.
Brown-vectored businessmen retie their ties—a symbol of neatness—every day (you would be somewhat wrong to think that habit characteristic of all self-respecting men: red-vectored men, for example, buy a tie when they need one, tie it once, wash it a few times, and then just throw it out).
They love wearing practical clothing and brown or other dark tones. Brown-vectored women prefer the same colors for their makeup, which they apply lightly for a clean look. Dark-colored lipstick and nail polish are also par for the course for brown-vectored women, though well-manicured nails without any polish are also a favorite. A typical hairstyle might be slicked back hair gathered in a bun for women, and anything for men that does not leave a single hair out of place. The methodical, measured approach brown-vectored people take to life plays out in their walk and other movements: they are fairly restrained and do not excessively gesticulate, with the exception of rubbing their hands together (they do this before beginning something important).
Brown-vectored people speak slowly and softly, sometimes in a monotone. A lecture taught by such a professor, for instance, might often feature drowsy or sleeping students.
Brown-vector handwriting is very clean, is easily readable, and features large letters reminiscent of squares with rounded corners (a draftsman’s handwriting). Complex documents are built on a system of points and sub-points to go along with all sorts of indentations and paragraph breaks. Contracts written by brown-vectored lawyers will no doubt have a point 1.1, a point 1.1.1, and a point 1.1.1.a, all of which will be offset with a corresponding indent.
What brown-vectored people love most of all, however, is square frames and tables, both tools that ooze tidiness and orderliness. It should come as no surprise that their favorite shape is the square. With that in mind, the best way to convey information to a brown-vectored person is to use a table, no matter what the subject matter: for example, the phrase “two dogs” could be written in a table featuring all of five columns (number, description, unit of measurement, quantity, comment). Needless to say, the books that sell to people like this also offer plenty of tables.
I was once taking an exam at university. Sadly, I barely had any time to study and was only able to really learn one of the given subjects. The test covered a different one I didn’t know in the least, of course, and I decided to just get up and walk away instead of wasting my time. Suddenly, however, I noticed the person giving the exam was dressed so stereotypically that it would be a crime not to try my luck. I went for broke: picking up a clean sheet of paper, I carefully drew up a table and wrote in everything I had learned the day before (information that covered a completely different topic). To be honest, I was expecting the inevitable F, but fortune happened to smile on me. The professor picked up my piece of paper and took his sweet time looking it over, though I could tell from his eyes that he wasn’t reading. A minute or two of tense silence later he asked, “Did you draw this yourself?” “Of course, my ruler and pencil are right there,” I answered. He took another little while to gaze at my paper, completely forgetting to compare it to the assignment, and then asked, “Would you mind if I gave you an A with no questions asked? You’ve earned it if you can structure information this well.” He later took my answer to show to the other professors while I trotted home with my A.
Brown-vectored people even set up their homes and work spaces in brown-colored squares: their furniture, wallpaper, curtains, and other interior decorations are likely to have square corners and fall somewhere in that color palette.
Reading and collecting instructions, be they for household appliances, furniture, or even a regular body scrub (these days all products are legally required to come with instructions), is a favorite activity of brown-vectored people. They would never dream of plugging in a new TV without first reading the instructions from cover to cover—after all, it is written right there in black and white: “Do not plug in without reading these instructions completely!” All instruction manuals are kept in a special file or box (drawer), though only for as long as the device still works. Here is where brown-vectored people diverge from orange-vectored ones, who hang on to instructions for devices they have long since thrown out. The biggest difference is with red-vectored people, however, as they do not even read directions: instead, they throw them out, thinking they are part of the packaging.
Brown-vector hobbies are likely to include sewing, knitting, embroidering, relaxed (sitting rather than sport) fishing, work around the house (brown-vectored men prefer working with wood), and writing.
Love and sex
The brown vector is one of the most reliable for any type of relationship, and to a particular degree in personal and family life. Brown-vectored people are remarkable for their faithfulness; long-term, deeply felt affection for their spouses and children; and strong sexual potential, though their natural reticence and shyness often keep those qualities hidden from the people around them. Sometimes they do not even sense or recognize their own sexuality until someone or something opens their eyes to that area of their lives.
They are fans of hugging their loved ones from behind, and are themselves more sensitive from that side of the body. Many brown-vectored people love a variety of anal pleasures in bed, though for others that subject remains taboo their entire lives. As a matter of fact, the more negativity a person expresses toward the topic, the stronger their brown vector.
Inflicting pain on sexual partners is also characteristic of brown-vectored people, though that can mean anything from light slaps to full-fledged sadism. Still, brown-vector sadism keeps to what is by now for us a familiar pattern: cruelty followed by regret.
Although brown-vectored people are naturally family-oriented, they still need a bit of a push even in this area. Men often need weeks to build up to the first kiss, months for sex, and years for marriage, even as they claim with complete sincerity to be seriously pondering whether or not they are ready for such a major responsibility.
Other problems occasionally crop up for brown-vectored people even when their family life is in full swing: meeting a long-lost love, for example, can throw them into deep turmoil. Remember that many past people and events are romanticized simply because they are in the past, even while brown-vectored people deep down are completely devoted and honest. As a result, they will most likely be able to handle such a situation well, if sweating bullets the whole time. The best way out is to sit down for a chat with the object of their past affection, during the process of which the romanticized sheen will wear off and life will look completely different.
Brown-vectored people sometimes even look for a new relationship with the same eye toward the past: they are not so much trying to find someone new (with a new kind of character) as they are trying to find something familiar with a new face. “I’d like my future wife to be similar in some ways to my first love, in others to my second, and so on.”
One could be forgiven for thinking that brown-vectored men and their sensitive anal orifice would always favor homosexuality. However, that would be a huge mistake, as most of them are completely heterosexual. They simply enjoy anal stimulation and other related sexual pleasures.
Certainly, homosexual men most often have a strong brown vector, though it is only one of the vectors needed to drive homosexuality. We can take a quick peek ahead by noting that the other necessary vector is the green one.
Having a conversation
Brown-vectored people value honesty, sincerity, and responsibility in the people they talk with, responding well to phrases like “to tell you the truth” and “to be honest.” They themselves are simply incapable of lying or deceiving, and so they have no patience for people doing the same to them. Flattery, in addition, tends to put them on edge, giving them the impression that someone is trying to pull one over on them. On the other hand, they are soothed and put in a friendly mood by conversations about the past.
Try to set goals for brown-vectored people, be they children or adults, that are broken up into clear and achievable chunks. Avoid overwhelming them with a variety of assignments, instead giving them one at a time.
“Johnny [son], you’re eight years old. Soon you’ll finish school, then you’ll graduate from college, get your master’s, and in 25 years become a professor…”
“Bill [husband], please take out the trash, wash the dishes, walk the dog, fix the toilet, play with the baby, and hang the bookshelf…”
“Peter [employee], here’s what I need you to be working on for the next six months. Tonight I’ll have one more project for you as well…”
All of these situations lead to a common outcome: the brown-vectored subject falls into a stupor, unable to do anything at all. The problem is that they do not see the goals set for them, or, in other words, the end of the road they are on, and cannot handle that.
“Johnny, focus on finishing second grade.” Period. You can talk about his future (third grade, mind you) later.
“Bill, please fix the toilet.” Period. You can ask him to do something else once the toilet is fixed.
“Peter, here’s what I need you to take care of today.” Period. Tomorrow you can give him the next assignment.
It may seem overly simplistic, but using sentences like these helps brown-vectored people start moving forward, maintain their mental health, and be much more productive.
Do not forget, as we have already discussed, that you cannot rush brown-vectored people. If you are trying to set something up with one of them—a date, business negotiations, or just a chat—make sure you have extra time set aside. You can be sure their natural slowness will probably make you late.
Brown-vectored people, knowing their inability to be fast or decisive, try to go through all the available options beforehand. They make plans for the future, do their best to stick to them exactly, and can be very upset when life throws them a curveball.
They usually try to leave home early when on their way to a meeting in order to avoid being late. Notwithstanding the best-laid plans, however, something always keeps them from showing up on time. For example, a simple doorway can be psychologically difficult for brown-vectored people, as doors represent a subconscious obstacle (Freud compared them to constipation, as both at their core are difficulties getting through openings). This plays out as a common behavior seen when leaving home: the person gets to the door, stops, remembers something, and turns around. They then get back to the door ready to leave, only to remember one more thing they forgot (often something not important in the least). However, as soon as they put the threshold behind them, their problems instantly disappear and they can move on in peace (this represents a difference between brown-vectored people and purple-vectored ones, who often continue worrying even after they leave home: “Did I turn off the iron? The stove?”). Long story short, brown-vectored people are often late to events regardless of their efforts to the contrary, something that really bothers them.
As you already know, this vector is not known for openness toward others, though that is true mostly in relation to strangers. Brown-vectored people happily chatter away when they are with close friends or even simply people they know—ask how your brown-vectored friend is doing at the risk of spending the next hour getting the full picture. They talk about their life in intimate detail, and are even prone to rabbit trails that eventually meander back to the main topic, which is always brought to a close.
Their meticulousness and attention to detail often makes them look boring, and there is a kernel of truth to that. A woman might find it easier to simply give the brown-vectored man what he is hinting at rather than spend an exorbitant amount of time explaining why she would rather not.
Brown-vectored people are often characterized by somewhat cyclical problems or struggles. They can spend days or weeks thinking over the same situations, sometimes continuing to mull over them even after they have made their decision.
When their vector’s needs are met and they have reconciled themselves to its tempo and lifestyle, brown-vectored people are remarkable for their strong health. While they take a long time to do anything, they are said to also live quite a while.
People who do not understand or accept their vector (we will talk about acceptance in the next chapter) and do not provide their organism with the bodily and emotional happiness it needs can suffer from their vector’s typical diseases: constipation, hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and even localized swelling. Existing statistics show that many bowel disorders and almost all rectal and anal problems are directly related to a dissatisfied or discordant brown vector. It is no accident that Germany and Japan, the countries with the strongest brown vectors, have the highest percentage of people suffering from rectal swelling.
Incidentally, intestinal dysbiosis and other stool problems suffered by both children and adults are also often related to an imbalanced brown vector.
Restoring balance for the vector results in a significant health improvement, and sometimes to complete recovery (if the disease has not gone too far, of course).
How can you help a person like this? Let’s take a look at an example.
I was once reading the help column in a health magazine and noted an intriguing letter. Its unusual style drew my attention: the text was broken down into points and sub-points. It ran something like this:
“1. I am 30 years old.
2. I have suffered from constipation for 20 of them.
3. I have tried: 3.1 Herbs, 3.2 Pills, 3.3 …” and so on.
Not doubting in the least what was causing the problem, I decided to write the poor girl a letter of my own. In it I briefly recapped the contents of this chapter, discussing how there are people for whom the anal zone is particularly sensitive from birth and how these types of diseases can result from a lack of stimulation. At the end I suggested that she try regularly massaging her anal zone with a finger or think of some other way to offer it pleasure. I had to wait for all of three months before she wrote back, but I did receive an answer:
“Doctor, thank you so much! My results:
1. The constipation is gone
2. I am happy again
3. My husband and I found a handy little trick!!!”
Please do not think that the only way of balancing the brown vector is by massaging its sensitive zone. Lifestyle, tempo, housekeeping, and favorite hobbies all play their part.
If you have a close friend or relative suffering from constipation or rectal problems, have them read this book. Simply telling them about it or giving them specific advice will not work, seeing as how it is very important for brown-vectored people to slowly digest and process information—especially something this intimate—at their own speed. Be delicate if you really want to help your brown-vectored partner.
When I was at a Viktor Tolkachev training session, one of the group participants suddenly got very emotional during the lesson on the brown vector. She cried, “Oh, that’s my husband! Oh, my husband is exactly like that!” I do not know what happened in her family afterwards, but her husband drove her to the session the next day: “Keep on going to the sessions. There’s something to them.”
Brown-vectored women generally handle pregnancies well, though birth itself tends to be long and difficult (remember once more Freud and his “difficulty getting through openings”).
There is no one better than brown-vectored people for getting important things done, as their work meets even the strictest quality standards. As professionals, they prefer work that requires sitting and attention to detail (accountant, programmer, trucker); relates to the past (historian, archeologist, antiquity dealer, archivist, museum curator), detailed study (analytic, scientist), or systematizing things (manual or catalog author, librarian); or that has to do with justice (lawyer, investigator) or cleanliness. They also make great writers.
Brown-vectored people, as it so happens, have a natural inclination toward grammatical accuracy and can sometimes see mistakes in a text without even reading it.
That should not surprise anyone, as all languages are ordered systems (regardless of their many exceptions)—brown-vectored people are born with a strong sense of order and a sharp eye for abnormalities.
In sports they love crew, horseback riding, and biking, while in medicine they generally become surgeons and dentists.
Finally, the best teachers and educators are more often than not brown-vectored. Brown-vectored people can build strong relationships with children by giving them what they need without spoiling them, and children love them for that.
This chapter began with a quote by Sigmund Freud (to be more precise, the first phrase in his article “Character and Anal Erotism”), so it would be logical to wrap it up with the same article’s last phrase:
“We ought to consider whether other character complexes, too, do not exhibit a connection with the excitations of particular erogenous zones.”
We will take up that subject in the remaining chapters. First, however, we need to discuss how a single vector can manifest itself in wildly different ways depending on the person.
Films to watch (featuring brown-vectored characters):
- Boxing Helena, directed by Jennifer Chambers Lynch, USA, 1993 (Nick Cavanaugh, played by Julian Sands)
- Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom, directed by Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italy and France, 1976 (almost all characters)
 Brown-vectored people enjoy crew because of the special four-wheeled benches that slide along rails.
 Pedant — a person who is excessively concerned with formalism, accuracy and precision or who makes an ostentatious and arrogant show of learning.
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