The quite rare combination of red and orange vectors is a so controversial. However, if you could get along with them and make them “friends” for each other, you are rich! There is so great potential for self-improvement in business and relationships. The same is about love relationships where two of partners have these vectors – there is no easy way to harmonious partnership, but in the case of success, they will compatible each other into “a single entity”.
Conflicts between urethral and skin vectors are eternal, such as:
- freedom or restrictions
- wasting resources or saving
- to live without rules or live following instructions
- immensity or austerity
- to flow or to follow the plan…
It would seem that the conflict between two of these vectors exists in every sphere of life. How people with superior red and orange vectors could live in peace? Let’s try to figure it out.
I’m going to tell you about relationships between orange-vectored parents and red-vectored children, and later we will discuss the compatibility of two of them in one single man and in love relationships.
Orange (skin) parent and Red (urethra) child
It’s quite difficult to decide who of them suffers more than another. Red baby brakes any upbringing theories out to the nines. He doesn’t agree with daily regime and any rules but he is too small to stand for his own rights. Only very strong urethral teenager can do it.
Moreover, parents pressure more often red vector since early childhood on the main points:
A ban on masturbation – perhaps, it is the most common mean for orange-vectored parents to rein (to keep his desires within compass) freedom-loving energy of red vector. Since the earliest childhood pressed sexuality doesn’t give the space for health development of other red-vectored traits and qualities. It leads to self-doubt in childhood and sexual problems in adult life. Moreover, such bans in childhood could be the source of varied fears. And the less we are aware of the traumatic situations of our childhood, the bigger and more powerful our fears got. Displaces (i.e. “forgotten”) traumas literary block our being more than situations we remember, even if the memory hurts.
Let’s take a look on yourself in childhood. Perhaps, someone wanted to prevent “an acquaintanceship with your own body”. And your impressions tail to this day. It means that unused potential of red vector is still exist inside you.
Orange-vectored parents don’t really know about one of the most important condition of red vector. They’re sure that the risk arises where there is no enough information. They are totally unaware how great it feels for you – red-vectored – when you are jumping down the wardrobe or wildly riding your bicycle – it feels like true orgasm! But parents try to “protect” their child from any danger and risks. As a result, a red child doesn’t possess himself of coping skills, although he could do it, moreover he could do it with joy. Unfortunately, in adult ages he won’t know how to get through troubles or shock situation by his own.
Freedom is truly “red” quality, but it scares orange-vectored people just as early hypersexuality. The words “no or you must not” are the most common in this type of families. You must settle the daily regime; you must not act not like your parents or family etc. Red man raised by orange-vectored parents reminds a lion raised in a cage – when he is free, he keeps moving around as in a cage.
How fully today do you feel and realize your freedom? Doesn’t matter how much red potential you have. Anyway, acting outside the usual way of being is connected with the power of red vector. Are your parents orange-vectored? If yes, take a closer look on yourself. Maybe you can more than you think.
It is not just a need to do what you like to. Hobbies and activity are always mutable – we should know that red-vectored man always wants to try something new little by little, because this is a his way to cognition the world. Nevertheless, frequent changes make orange-vectored parents crazy. They frame a plan for their child and obey all of the points. Incidentally, following a plan in any sphere of life is the main stabilizing factor for orange-vectored people (try and check). Well, kids, for sure, are too important to let it take its course.
What do you think about your potential and its realization? Do you realize or even try to all of the things you wanted to do in your teen age?
If authority is a discipline and control for orange-vectored people, but for red-vectored people it means charisma. Red child manifests this quality of character from the second year of life (sometimes it happens earlier), skillfully stepping out on his spineless parents. But, unfortunately, orange parents know how to take him down a notch! They just stop him every time he takes initiative. Also they make all decisions for him. As a result, the child get used to take a second position…
Are you satisfied with the balance of submission and management in your life? Do you realize your potential to exert your authority over obligations and circumstances?
What to do, if your “red childhood” have been under pressure of orange-vectored parents?
- If the accepting of red vector is less than 80% (according your test result),
- If you feel you have unrealized urethral potential deep inside you,
- If you suspect or remember about any childish situation which could hurt your red vector,
- If you notice any symptoms of urogenital system disorders,
then you should just think about the accepting your red vector. No matter how much you had in the past, the accepting is always totally up to you.
Look on the algorithm of accepting a vector from the Psychology and Your Orifices:
Be aware of which vector is suffering from neurosis (in other words, which is poorly accepted, pressured, or stifled). You can use the results of the test or go by your own gut feeling.
Where possible, think of a situation (for example, from your childhood) when that vector was strongly repressed. This step is not essential, though it often proves highly beneficial.
Look for any of your vector’s needs that you would like to meet but currently you don’t do it (sometimes this means carefully rereading the appropriate chapter).
Meet that need little by little.
Matter! Avoid any violence to yourself. If your urethral vector is pressed in sexual sphere, don’t intend extreme sexual fun – begin with the most comfortable steps.
5. Raw scores
A few days later note your vector’s new needs that are appearing and go straight back to step four.
6. The outcome
A few weeks later sense that your vector has found a balance that is new to you, congratulating yourself with a victory. Now you have all the potential unlocked – all the potential of your vector (all its productive qualities), while you can also recognize that its unproductive qualities have all but disappeared.
For orange-vectored parents: how to find a balance between freedom and responsibility?
Now let's look at this from a different perspective. The following next points are for orange-vectored parents, who are “happy” to have urethral child.
1. Freedom and responsibility
You should always remember, besides desire for freedom your red child knows what responsibility is. If you at the same time give him freedom and responsibility for what he does, this connection is going to be natural. He or she will be harmonious man. Most red people act like teenagers because of unbalanced connection between freedom and responsibility – most often they feel unlimited freedom but not responsibility. By the way, orange parents, who have a heightened sense of balance, can spread freedom and responsibility in relationship with their child in the correct proportions.
2. It’s allowed, BUT!
You’ve already know my favorite way of parenting from the book: try to find some adequate means for meeting your child needs. I mean, try to meet them without any prejudice to the child and others. If you answer NO what is a lovely word of orange people, it means for red child you can try here your power through confrontation to parents. By the way, all the situations of fight and struggle serve to developing charisma and leadership skills. That’s why you shouldn’t make something forbidden saying NO to red child. It looks like you’re fighting for the rights and status. A lot of negotiations training learn how to not saying NO. Try to follow this advice. Say YES instead of NO. And more precisely “yes, but”… Orange parents usually do it easy:
- You’re allowed to masturbate, but do it when no one sees and no one hears.
- You’re allowed to make a fire, but do it under adult’s supervision and not in the house.
- You’re allowed to drink alcohol, but do it only when your parents give.
For sure, last example is moot…
3. Feeling of freedom
Sense of freedom is more important for red vector than its realization. A red teenager not always wants to come home after midnight; he wants to deal with this issue grown-up, i.e. independently. And there are a lot of troubles for orange parents: how to give to a red child a feeling of freedom but without going over? You should be smart about it – taking note the most important qualities of red children: his place and status in a family, respect for him authority, ability to make decisions independently, initiative. All of this can help red children feel free.
It is almost impossible to make red children do something they don’t want to. I want to share one of my exercises:
All of the participants one by one tried the role of a school teacher making a red student stay in school to work on a wall newspaper. All students are already gone. It means that only this student can work on it. I was the slacker red student with a can (maybe it was bear…) who accidentally stayed in school after class and I didn’t want to do the newspaper under any conditions… Teachers tried but unsuccessfully.
- They offered money (orange) or even a beer (orange, but immoral one)
- They threatened with a D-marks, talk with parents or physical attacks (black)
- They invited to drink a bear while working (yellow)
- They (women) tried to seduce (red)
- Someone tried to manipulate using facts about me (violet)
- Someone told: you are the best student! Only you can do it! You are my only hope! (harmonious green or trained red). By the way, the last variant is the most likely by the red student…
But the most effective way is here:
So… Upset teacher is coming to the student – she almost cries – and says:
What does she say? No, no, please, don’t look down. Think. Imagine and think. Do you know what she says? All of my participants offered a lot of variants such as little cry for help etc. But … The truth is in silence. She says nothing. Yes, yes. She’s just standing by him and crying. After 20-30 seconds the student asks: what happens? Do you think she is going to invite him to work on paper? No-no! Under no circumstances… There is a deal with status and authority. She says something like “Probably, you can’t help me too…” Probably is the key word, otherwise, it sounds like refusal.
Then what? In 99% of cases he asks: What is the problem? And the situation is in your hands, because the initiative is in his hands! You did your best – you showed your respect to him authority. Now he is interested in your problem, and he will make a decision. By the way, all kinds of feats are really rise red teenager self-esteem.
Red (urethral) parent and Orange (skin) child
Vice versa variant – urethral parent and orange child – it is a little bit easier, but we have some tense moments too:
1) Firstly, orange vector doesn’t need unlimited freedom as a red one. They rather want to follow some rules, especially children. Daily regime, plan, sensible borders make urethral people want to be sick, but all of this are fulcrum for an orange children. The process of accepting is hampered by lack of this kind of fulcrum. It leads to skin disorders, asthma, conflicts in relationships. And as you know, skin is the main borders of outer world.
A lot of red parents look at orange children from the prism of their own perspective: red parents are sure that the most important thing is to give freedom to the child – they think this is the only one way to raise harmonious man. It works with red child but not with the orange one!
Even if your life is full of freedom and spontaneous events, try to make some unaltered borders and rules (e.g. daily regime). Abide by the agreement even if it’s difficult for you. A real difference can be made in a very short time.
2) Secondly, there is money. Harmonious red people stand in unison with the money flow. They know (feel) that the more energy they give and get, than better their life is. They are totally far away from “orange” idea of saving. That is why red parents convince their orange parents not to save money and things. They teach him to be easier with this issue. I guess you can imagine what stress orange children feels living like his parents teach. All of his things and staff are kind of “extension” of his own body.
Try to blame adult orange man in saving or greed – you will get a lecture as a child! A child can’t understand why orange parents reject his inner need to keep all of his things with him. Here is the starting point for disharmony in orange vector. By the way, when you find the “orange saving” comforting, orange child will treat to things easier…
3) Thirdly, there is disrespect. “Brilliant” red parents sometimes find their orange child as a mediocrity without any goals. They think, that their child’s success minor – petty and materially-minded. Regardless of whether this is a real parent’s "genius" or imaginary, disrespectful attitude is very traumatic for the orange child. Of course, he doesn’t seek to grab a star from the sky – biochemistry of his body is tuned totally for other activities, but harmonious orange man executes it always at a decent level.
In a recent interview with the brilliant (urethral) British actor, Gary Oldman said: “I have three sons, two of them are teenagers, and I’m very proud of them all. I can say that none of all of my sons can be called a genius child, but we don’t care. The main thing is that they grow as a good people. There’ enough of geniuses in the world, but there’s not enough decent men”.
It isn’t surprising that after years of disrespect, orange vector is flipped in the opposite direction. Grown-up orange child often blames his urethral parents who all their life chased something great, but now – in old age – they are none the wiser. And, finally, the “balance” comes.
Red and Orange vectors in a personal relationship
When I meet red-orange couple, I always wonder what brought these people together and what holds them still. I guess, only an attraction of opposites.
At the beginning of this article, I mentioned that the conflicts between red and orange vectors are endlessly. In addition, each couple has their own troubles. That’s why I am interested in describing the daily red-orange vectors fights and I want to find the answer: do they have a resource? Frankly, achievement a harmony in such couples is a serious work that requires a lot of effort from both partners:
1) Try to come to an understanding of each vectors traits and qualities. You can read the book together and after discuss the most interesting episodes. What do you think about it?
2) Try to accept your vectors. Accepting is the first step to productive communication.
3) Try to think about two vectors as a complementary, but not as contradictory. You have the right hand and the left hand – they are not enemies or fighters. They both serve as different, but they effectively work together. It’s like a man and a woman. It’s like the energy of yin and yang – being opposite to each other, they already contain the beginnings a little part of the partner. It seems as vectors, doesn’t it?
4) Try to find some spheres of life (place, time…) where two of you can accept or even support each other, when you fully realizing your vectors.
5) Try to find some sphere of life where you can act like Orange man (even if you are totally a Red one) and vice versa.
So… How do you feel after that?
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